They will assume they’re quite aware of what you thought.
Reshape the content and alter the tone without shifting the words. They will use that shot of your weary eyes and mention how fine you looked when you smiled. They will tell your story in a matter-of-factly format and use your rise and fall to illustrate recent statistics. They will cry you a river and give your family two minutes of air time, run a segment on the ever-rising suicide rates and what the president has recently declared regarding such matters but they will never know what you felt like.
They will never imagine how you smiled satisfactorily the day you learned to watch the wind playing with the sand over there, across the oceans and lands you turned up to be. How you learned to use the blend landscapes to enhance the outreach of your fantasies, how you learned the camouflage in your fatigues was a joke and fighting grounds is nothing but green dots on a black screen.
They will never learn how you felt like when you heard the sound of your Skype account on and the alerts you received when your lover logged on. They can’t fathom how you managed to stay calm every time you saw your little one’s eyes blinking at yours on the screen of your laptop and how you always knew you were going to make it.
You were so sure.
They will reform you and reinvent you until your name is forgotten. The camouflage will remain a joke and the reasons behind your own private war will never be disclosed. The data locked away in the heavy safe of your aspirations will never be claimed and the things you’ve seen will stay memories no one will ever revisit.
Truth is they will assume what you thought and how you felt and sometimes they may get it almost right, but still
They will never know about the heavy peacefulness you experienced while watching pigeons fighting for bread that very day you left home to step into the abyss of somebody else’s misconception, with all the reasonable doubt in the world branded like a dark tattoo on your chest.
But I will, soldier. I’ll always do.