“Lost in the valley without my horses / No one can tell me what my remorse is” – the great ~ ~ THINKER ~ ~ Anthony Kiedis (yeah, dude from the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
My mother is a fervent catholic.
She maintains a tradition of dedicating a mass to dead loved ones at the anniversary of their deaths. Every year. No matter how long it’s been since they have passed away.
She does that for her father, mother, aunts and brother. She does that for my brother, my father and cousins. She does that for her grandparents.
While I’m not religious and have never seen a major point in carrying on with this tradition, I’ve recently begun wondering what I would do if my mother could no longer maintain her promise to herself. If she is no longer able to celebrate the memory of her loved ones, her own way, would I have any reason to carry on with her tradition, even if she never even implied I should at all?
Personal promises are powerful, but only if you take yourself seriously enough. Oftentimes, however, taking oneself seriously is the least-likely thing you are encouraged to do.
Taking existence lightly makes things easier, when you fail. Learning where caring ends and where taking things lightly begins is something we have mastery over after we set our own standards.
There’s nothing pre-made. No perfect formula to follow.
Just like I can’t tell you what should motivate you, you are the only one who knows what’s important to you and so it goes with what kind of traditions you like to embrace and carry on. Could I choose to care about a promise my mother has silently kept for so long or would I weaken its significance by not quite getting why she does it over time?
I still don’t know. ~