Our siblings make us who we are. They mold us & shape us and ultimately, help to create the person we become. Being the oldest of six for instance, I suppose it was inevitable that I become the responsible one, the leader, the example. Whereas my brother, number two in the lineup, diverged wildly from me, running in nearly the opposite direction seeking adventure impulsively & spiritedly through bad girls and fast cars. Each successive one of us has fallen somewhere between these two pillars of character definition, settling into the role that we, as siblings, had carved out for each other.
I don’t know for sure who I am or what I represent to each of my brothers & sisters, but I do know that who they are to me, individually and collectively, are five people who know me better then most on this earth. Armed with that knowledge, there are things they have come to expect from me, from a lifetime of playing my role within our family drama.
Often I wish I could break away from their expectations of me; to not be the straight & narrow one, to do something uncharacteristic, something outside of what they have defined for me. Yet then I realize, it is me & my self image that needs redefining. Just because I’ve grown accustomed to the role I’ve played should not mean that it doesn’t need or deserve revisions. I am the oldest, the leader after all, and who better to change the course of my own play than me?