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Monthly Archives: April 2013

A sad story

26 Friday Apr 2013

Posted by Alice Salles in Living

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The latest occurrences have reminded us all that vigilance is the only price we should really pay for freedom.

Vigilance, thus, could be easily called the enemy of fear for those who are comfortable in their own skin, but it could also be called the slippery slope of paranoia, for those with little confidence in their own means.

I heard a story today that made all other stories fade away. I sat down to work and for a couple of hours I would occasionally focus my thoughts on that story, as if I were trying to put myself in one of the main character’s shoes.

This lady I know lost her husband fourteen years ago. I’ve known her for about a year and a half and I never asked her about her husband. Everybody told me it was a “complicated” story. I never bothered asking anything else. Today, her sister told me everything.

Her husband, she said, was a little “off”… “you know, war does that to you”.

And what happened? I asked.

“Well, he hanged himself one day, even though he had a fourteen-year-old daughter and a beautiful wife waiting for him at home”.

As she told me that story, I flipped through old photographs of the two of them. I saw the young lady, so slim, so gorgeous. A true Latin diva: the perfectly shaped and warm-hearted mermaid of any man’s most daring of dreams.

He hanged himself. He took his life, his right, and his pain with him, but not without leaving a heavy weight behind for the girls to carry on their own.

I don’t judge him and I don’t blame him. The reality of those who serve “their country” in uniform is harsh and each one of them deals with their own experiences the best way they can, but I feel for her.

Not because I think she wasted her years with the man she loved only for him to take his life in the end, but because I know it’s hard to give in. To let go of somebody that means everything to you in the name of letting them exercise what’s most precious to man: freedom.

2013-04-20-18-35-55

Ode to This Beer

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by Aubrey Anne Dickinson in Living

≈ 1 Comment

Ode to this beer

This double red ale

Bottled in Oregon

Ode to this moment

This quiet time of tonight

That I sit at my table sipping and writing

And thinking of so much more

Than a simply delicious northwest beer

Ode to the calm that has flooded my little body

& Runs thru my veins and sits me down

for the first time today.

Ode to this moment

This quiet, quiet moment

Where I sit and think and breathe.

Life is so much more complicated than we are told

Life gets tangled and disastrously messy

But my god, it is so, so beautiful.

Step back and look.

Look.

It’s a beautiful life.

A magical one, if fact.

So ode to this beer that has me calm enough to see it.

The next Generation

13 Saturday Apr 2013

Posted by Alisha Dickinson in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

More whole & perfectly put together than I ever could have imagined, you are no more an abstract thought, a face yet unseen, a shadow of us.  You are here, you exist and there we stand in awe.

Like an echo sent off into the distance, made with familiar sounds & textures, I recognize parts of us in you.  Yet like an echo, which in the journeying back to one’s ears evolves and becomes its own sound, you are entirely you.

In the one short month I’ve been blessed to look upon your darling face I’ve seen expressions cross it that remind me of Edgar and others that make me laugh out loud in their simplicity and newness.  You create a constant cacophony of sounds similar to my brother Drew and your thick, dark hair is inherited from my Mother.   The genetic echo expands even wider, right down to your long, Norwegian toes, compliments of my paternal great-grandfather Clayton.

And as you grow & grow & grow, already so much in four quick weeks, the person you are & who you will be is taking shape before our eyes and we can only imagine the places you will go.  For you are our echo into the future.  Parts of each of us, Edgar & I and those around us & before us, will continue on through you, in one way or another, reverberating around this world long after we are gone.

Violence Generates Peace, Oh Wait [Catholic Edition]

04 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Alice Salles in Living

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

catholic school, peace

I used to study in a Catholic school. My brother and I had scholarships because of my father’s work with another Catholic educational institution. Note that, my father was agnostic, in spite of the fact he was a law professor in a private Catholic University throughout the 1970s. Nobody ever questioned his capabilities because he stood proud of his lack of faith. They respected him. Anyway,

The schools in Brazil are mostly modeled after European educational institutions, which usually follow a system in which the students are grouped together in fixed classrooms. Kids are usually required to wear uniforms, which was what happened to me. I have plenty of memories of my days as a Catholic school-girl but one in particular stands out and makes me think of what brought me here today.

Every day, I would walk down the hallway from the main stairway toward the classroom in my navy blue and white uniform. I stepped carefully and attempted to draw as little attention to myself as I possibly could; given the fact I was often treated as the odd bird of odd birds, the nerd without a cause in a school of abnormally healthy and gorgeous little jerks.

As soon as I stepped into the main hallway, which was about 40 meters long, my eyes immediately landed on a poster hanging between the 4th A group and the B group classrooms. There was an awfully cheesy picture of a flower in the very center of it and at the bottom of the poster, the words “violence generates violence, peace generates peace”.

I kept my eyes focused on that image and quote for as long as I could. I would even get to the point of looking over my shoulder as I forced myself to stare at it until the point I couldn’t hold my head in that position any longer. I never really knew why I was so obsessed with that thing but as I sit here and remember the little girl walking slowly down the hallway, all I can think of is that poster: the cheesy flower in its center, the faded colors and crappy font.

All I can think of is that it was always so obvious to me. That quote did not have to be on a poster to make me understand the meaning behind it.

I guess all that I’m struggling to understand is: isn’t it always obvious? ~

Baby, It’s Time to Get Back to the Basics

01 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by Aubrey Anne Dickinson in Family & Friends, Living

≈ 2 Comments

Waylon is singing about Luckenbach–now Willie is chiming in too–and it’s grabbing me again. This song. This song that says everything that I feel.

It used to be that I thought success & happiness (though not entirely–but certainly some) was linked with grand things; with nights at the theatre in elegant dresses and of course there would be champagne; with a nice car and fine wines; with deep pockets. I wanted fame to rush through me and shine out of my fingertips. I wanted to be someone BIG.

Those things are nice, no doubt, but only in moderation. I want to be hungry–to strive for more in life–more knowledge, more peace, more love. I want to be happy in the simplicity of things. I want to be BIG only to those that matter–my family; my friends. I want only to be me and to be happy with that.

I want to wake up and breathe nothing but mountain air. I want to hear birds chirping and wind in the trees. I want to laugh with life and I want to love like crazy the whole way through.

So Waylon is on to something; because hell if it isn’t time to get back to the basics of love–and of life.

“So baby, I’m selling my diamond ring
Buying some boots and faded jeans and going away…”

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