This intrusive thought that blurs the conclusion I seek with the kind of passion she will never know; this… thing that should be extirpated but I so painfully and carefully maintain at bay. I often wonder why and look for answers but how could any response be allowed in when I’m the only one making all the rules?

At times, this monster steps into my waters and aims deep but the smallness of her aspirations makes little of such attempts. She suddenly realizes she could die trying and swims back thinking she isn’t fooling anyone: trying harder was never her forte. Abandonment is what she seeks and back at bay is where she stays.

At arm’s length and at a safe distance.

It’s not the lack of volume or the lack of passion I find irritating; it’s the overwhelming inaptitude to care one embraces and sees as their most precious gift and the capacity to gnaw at a type of unaware apathy that could drive any average man insane.

Superficial is a word one may use to describe this being but not even the most delicate of layers could be as shallow and that’s why I choose to keep it

At bay.

At an arm’s length, never truly letting it in nor expelling it at last, for I’ve always known the ocean gives life and takes it back at ease but it never fails to offer everyone a chance.

And that is what I offer,

A chance. Prove me wrong if you will, because I can sense it is surely bound to happen… someday.

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